“Doctor Doctor, Give Me The News!”

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I recently received some news from my doctors.  I must have ANOTHER surgery March 6.  I am happy that it will stop me from being in pain, but I am not looking forward to the pain from the surgery, and the recovery however long it might be.  I have been having  really bad pelvic pain for the past months.  I thought I was having issues with my endometriosis, then one doctor thought I had a hernia. I had more than enough scans, and they showed a cyst on my right ovary, however my ob believes that the cyst is probably gone since so much time has passed since my scans. After going to the surgeon, he believed it was my appendix.  I am thinking the same.  There is so many organs in such a small area, including my 6-year-old transplanted kidney.

This is going to be my 10 surgery.  I am so tired of having surgery’s.  I have been on pain meds for so long, the pain medicine they give me doesn’t work anymore.  Morphine does absolutely nothing.  My last surgery was my hip replacement, and I was in so much pain I couldn’t even think straight.  I was taking Dilaudid through my pain pump. I set my timer on my cell phone so that I would know when to push the button.  Because I wasn’t getting in relief I would get morphine every two hours that didn’t in any way take care of the pain, but it kept me from pulling my hair out.  I don’t really get nervous when I am having surgery, it is just that I wish my pain could be controlled.  It is sometimes hard to convince the nurses I am not a tweaking drug addict, but a patient with a high tolerance to pain medication.  Everyone is a tweaker until there is proof to the contrary.   I had a very mean nurse one time that had no kind of compassion, and seemed quite annoyed that I kept telling her the pain medicine was not working and I was in severe pain.  She said in a nasty tone, “I just gave you enough meds for a 400 pound man!” Well lady, get me something else!  If I wasn’t in so much pain I would have reported her. I was in too much pain to remember her name, and since I was waiting for the anesthesia to wear off I couldn’t open my eyes and wasn’t able to look at her name tag.  I have had wonderful nurses through the years, but I have had more than one bad one.  It sure doesn’t help the recovery process.

I am praying this will be my last surgery EVER AGAIN!!!  I need an up swing of go health for a change.  Do you think I could get a tummy tuck and some lipo for being a return customer?  They sure have gotten a lot of money off of me over the years.  I think it is only fair.

Brandi 🙂

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“I Get So Weak”

Hey guys! It has been a minute since I have posted a new blog. I hope you are keeping cool in this blistering heat!  I have been trying though I am not always successful.

In the past weeks I have still  been trying to  rehabilitate this “new hip”.  My therapist feels that I am doing very well considering having my leg hacked into so many times.  I still have considerable weakness and it is taking longer than I expected for it to get back into working order which has been VERY frustrating for me.  I need to get this weight off that I have gained from those immobile and barely mobile months. Due to the weakness and the fatigue I have been experiencing my excercise plan has remained in the planning stage.  I have maybe two more physical therapy sessions scheduled and that will probably will be it.  I have to find a replacement to keep me active and work on improving my hip.  Water aerobics is the idle transition but I haven’t found one in the city that I could attend weekly that my wallet likes. The Lord knows what I need and he will provide.

Fellow Lupies, try to stay out the sun and don’t forget sun screen. UV rays  ( inside or outside exposure) are no fun neither are flare ups so protect yourself as much as you can.

Brandi  🙂

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Finding My Smile :)

This sing has been on repeat all day today. It was really hard to smile, but I managed a few. I have  had two rough days battling lupus fatigue and pain from my hip replacement. I have spent all of yesterday and the most of today in bed snoozing the day away.  Days like this are always hard.  I sometimes hard to fight off the guilt for not being able to do “mom” things or “wife” things.  I can’t clean my house and it really needs it. I can’t cook dinner for my family or fold the laundry that is piled up the wall. Days like this are always filled with many emotions.  I just try to keep in mine that I can’t do everything today.  I will get another chance tomorrow to make up for my limitations of today.  I know it’s hard to not think about all you have to do, and who you have to save today but you can’t be there for someone else if you aren’t  there for yourself first. ( I am typing this for myself today as well as for you.  I need to see this in front of my eyes and not just go by what I am constantly telling myself today.)

I went to physical therapy today.  I have had all kinds of therapy over the past 11 years.  I have heard different philosophes on what is best and why. This is the first time I have been to therapy and haven’t kicked a leg, had to do squats or had a thera band thrown in my lap.  Nesin Therapy Services is very hands on.  The past two pt sessions I have laid on the mat while they have massaged, pulled, pushed my hip in all kinds of directions. It is very uncomfortable, and I stress very,  but after an hour I could feel the results once I got down to walk.  It’s something I am not used to but thank God it is working.

The rest of today is still to be seen.  I am in pain right now.  I have zero energy and had to ditch my “super cane” for my wheelchair but I am pressing on. 🙂 After all I am a survivor.

 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31

Thank you to those who prayed and thought of me today. Your prayers are appreciated.

Brandi 🙂

A day in the life…with my “super cane”!

So, I was discharged from the rehab yesterday. I had another hip replacement. I have had three in all.  I had in infection in the right hip that was initially replaced in 2003 due to avasulcar necrossis. An infection was found in the right hip in November 2010 so the doctor removed it on December 16, 2010. For three months I did not have a hip on the right side. Basically I was a one legged women.  Thankfully on March 17 the infection was gone and I was able to have the right hip replaced…the third time the right hip was cut into. OUCH!!

I didn’t have too much hope of walking out of that place (the rehab center). So when the physical therapist asked me what were my goals while I was in rehab I said to walk without my walker half believing it was possible.  To my surprise I left the rehab on a quad cane which is a lot more freeing then a walker. I even got to pick out a nice and shiny blue cane though I have to use a loaner until it is delivered. I told Cornell (my husband) that once I got that cane I would be burning the streets up.   I acquainted it to being a super hero with someone elses cape. Just wait until I get my own cape…or cane.  You better watch out!! LOL

My first out-patient physical therapy is on Monday. I am looking forward to improvement where I will be able to retire my “super cane” like I have done in the past and walk unassisted with my brand spankin’ new titanium hip!  See you at the finish line.