I was diagnosed with lupus 12 years ago. Over the years Lupus has really put me through the wringer more than a few times. It has been so long that I don’t know what it feels like to not have Lupus. It is crazy that over the years I have become use to having pain everyday. Chronic pain can sometimes be so isolating. I try to get out of the house whenever I can but when I am not feeling well I am confined to the house .It is often hard to comunicate how I am feeling to others. You don’t really know unless you have been through it. The pain isn’t just in my head, I am not trying to get attention, and it is not because I have a low tolerance for pain. (If I did have a low tolerance I would have pulled all my hair out by now.) Sometimes I wish that I could have one person walk in my shoes for a day just so they could understand what a day with Lupus is like. Some days are better than others, but a day hasn’t passed in the past 12 years when I woke up pain-free. Sometimes I don’t even know how I do it, but each morning the LORD allows me to wake up another morning. Every now and then he has to slap me in the face to remind me he has it all in control. If he takes care of the birds in the sky, how much more will he do for me?
Last week I was watching TBN, and this program came on about a man named Mr. Ed Dobson who suffers from “Lou Gehrig’s disease. Lou Gehrig’s disease is a disorder where the muscles are no longer nourished by the spinal cord and the diseased part of the spinal cord develops hardened or scarred tissue in place of healthy nerves. Eventually the disease begins to limit or even take away the ability to walk, and even eating and swallowing. Something he said regarding his illness almost knocked me off of my bed. I knew that the LORD was speaking right to me. I have never questioned GOD about this road I was chosen to walk. For the most part I try to have a positive outlook, and be thankful for the small victories, but sometimes it is a little too much for me to handle. Sometimes I get tired of dealing with the medication, the pain, and the surgeries. Sometimes I wish I had one day of rest where I don’t have to deal with having lupus, or I had someone who could understand exactly how I am feeling without having to tell them. Mr. Dobson was talking about frustration dealing with Lou Gehrig’s Disease or ALS. I had been dealing with a lot of frustration lately. My body was defying me left and right, and I was just tired of it! The LORD knew what I needed to hear and it was right on time.
Mr. Dobson said,
“I’m not asking God to heal me. I’m throwing myself on the mercy of God; he understands. I could be frustrated with the limitations of my body, and then I remembered that Jesus also lived with significant limitations far beyond my own. So in that way, the fact that he is with me, he understands the limitations of living in human flesh, and I find that very comforting.”
I was blown away! It was then I realized what I am going through is nothing compared to what Christ went through for me. If no one else can understand my pain, GOD understands, and unlike man he has all control, and all the power to take it away. If he chooses not to, I know there is a reason and he knows what is best for me. He wouldn’t give me anything I wasn’t strong enough to handle. What a blessing to be a walking testimony of how great GOD is. I am so thankful to have an on time GOD who know’s what I need before I even ask.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 ESV
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 ESV
“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 ESV
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.”
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 ESV
You can learn more about Ed Dobson’s powerful testimony and his year-long experience living like Jesus at http://edsstory.com/