Home » Chronic Illness » “Your talking out the side of your neck”/10 Things NOT to Say to A Person With Lupus

“Your talking out the side of your neck”/10 Things NOT to Say to A Person With Lupus

Here are some of the annoying things I have heard over the years.

10. You use to be so thin.

(I know…don’t remind me.  *looking at my bulging stomach and yeast roll feet*)

9. You don’t really need to take all that medicine, or you take too much medication.

( I have had people to tell me to stop taking my medicine and just pray, have faith and ask for healing. Ok, I will stop taking it and just go ahead and die. Doctors aren’t of the devil. GOD can provide them with knowledge to treat me. Also, GOD may decide not to heal me. Sometimes we don’t get what we want. You think I haven’t prayed for healing ?)

8. You need to go natural or try this natural _______.

(You don’t know what you are giving me.  Someone was trying to give me some immune booster, not realizing that it would have killed me almost immediately. My immune system is going haywire and attacking my organs willie nillie. Why would I want it to boost me into the grave yard? You are  not a doctor. You don’t know how it will affect my condition.)

7. I have a friend/family member with Lupus, but they died.

(Thanks for the encouragement.)

6. Man, you are always sick.

(Believe me, I hate it more than you.)

5. Are you ok?  Or  Are you getting any better?

( In some instances it is ok to ask how I am feeling, but not when you have the pity face to go along with it.  I will never get any better. I have a chronic illness, meaning I will have it for the rest of my life.  I have good days and bad days. It doesn’t mean I am getting better.  When you see me limping or wincing from pain you will think I have one foot in the grave again.)

4. Have you ever tried to ignore your pain?

(Believe me, I ignore pain everyday that’s why I am able to function. You have no idea.)

3. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just in your head.

(Now I am crazy?)

2. I understand what how you feel. I have arthritis in my _________.

( You may think you are making me feel better telling me I am not alone but you are minimizing my pain by telling me you deal with it and you are doing just fine.)

1. Well you don’t look sick.

( Just because I don’t LOOK sick doesn’t mean there is nothing wrong. Maybe I should limp a little harder or start foaming at the mouth to look more believable.)

Brandi  :/


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