I really love my husband! Like the song of my favorite country singer Garth Brooks, “thank God for unanswered prayers!”If I had made the decision of who I believed I would spend the rest of my life with I would have been divorced twice already. When Cornell came around we told each other that we would take our relationship slowly so that we could get to know each other. We dated 2 years before we were married. In the middle of this time I was diagnosed with Lupus. Many people probably questioned his decision to “marry that sick girl”, but he did it anyway. I thank GOD for his decision. He is not only the head of our home and the father of my children, but he is my best friend. He has been there to experience the absolute lows of my bouts with lupus as well as the joys. We have been married for 10 years (11 in December). I can’t believe that many years have passed. Even though we have experienced so much in our little 10 years it seems the years have passed by so fast. I couldn’t imagine going through life with anyone else. I absolutely thank GOD for knowing what was best for me.
I say all of this to say I become very disturbed with how lackadaisical people treat marriage. It has become just something done after a significant amount of time has passed. I think about all the couples that got married around the time we did and many of them are no longer married. Some have already remarried. Sometimes it becomes very uncomfortable to ask how is your wife or husband. I am not saying divorce is wrong in certain situation such as infidelity or abuse. It just seems like the attitude is, “well we are not getting along so we should get a divorce”. My husband and I decided that when we got married divorce was NOT an option. We allowed adequate time getting to know each other. When we decided that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together we received marriage counseling to see if we were compatible more than just the fact that we loved each other. I prayed for him daily. I asked the lord to reveal to me if he was the man I should marry. I had very few happily married couples in my family and I didn’t want to make a mistake and become what I had been running away from; living in an unhappy marriage because he wasn’t the man GOD had for me. I was worthy enough to be HAPPILY married to ONE man and to have our union blessed by GOD.
If you are in an unhappy relationship, let go and ask GOD to lead the way. Don’t be afraid to seek counseling. Find a couple who will give you godly advice and will keep your conversations private. Reconnect with your spouse and try to remember what attracted you to them in the first place. Set aside time for just you and your spouse where you don’t discuss the bills, work or the kids. Last but not least, ask GOD to repair what you have each broken as well as strengthen your relationship with him.
To those who are still single, get to know the lord and strengthen your relationship with him. Work on preparing yourself to be a good wife or husband. I often hear women say that their aren’t any good men left. Maybe GOD hasn’t sent one your way because if he did, you would chase him away. You are not ready for him yet. Pray and ask GOD to heal you from your baggage. If you are in a relationship, ask GOD for guidance. Just being in love with each other is not enough. Observe each other around their family’s. If the time has come and you plan on getting married, get marriage counseling as soon as possible. I say do this even before you start planing the wedding, just in case you find out that this isn’t the right person for you, you won’t feel the pressure of having to get married because the wedding is already planned and th invitations have been mailed out. Let GOD be the head of your relationship and pray for each other often. He knows what is best for both of you!
Marriage is a gift given by GOD and should be treated as such. I believe if we treated it that way before we stand up and take our vows there would be less divorces and unhappy marriages. I am not saying marriage doesn’t take work, but with GOD and prayer it makes it easier to get through those rough patches. Trust and believe he knows what is best for you!
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved,
clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one
another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on
love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members
of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ
dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and
as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to
God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the
Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.
Song of Solomon 8:6
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
1 Corinthians 13:4–8a
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails …
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
1 John 3:18
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
Song of Solomon 4:10
How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice!
Song of Solomon 1:2
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine
Song of Solomon 2:16
My lover is mine, and I am his.